Lookie that

Even revered conservative commentator Peggy Noonan thinks Palin is a moron.

Ivory beacon

Hello. This is a picture of my soap.

When my soap gets used up to the point when it is nothing more than a thin slip that no longer supplies suds no matter how vigorously I rub-a-dub-dub it, I do not throw it away. Instead, I get a new bar of soap and, after cleansing and rinsing myself, I get the husky new bar good and sudsy again, but only in order to glue the frail old soap fragment to the top of it.

I carefully rinse the old/new soap-bar conglomerate, making sure the suds between the two entities remain intact in order to adhere them together. Then I put the bar in the recessed soap dish for 24 hours of drying time, which will hopefully permanently fuse the bars together in time for my next shower.

After two or three showers, all evidence that the soap was once two parts is gone. Hence, by this method, not only do I eliminate waste, but soap becomes a pleasant continuum in my life, a constant commodity that waxes and wanes but is never subject to absolute end. Simple procedures such as this relinquish me of sin and render me holy in lieu of traditional religious practices.

That is all.

Saturday on Coventry

At 7 p.m. this Saturday, I'll be at Mac's Backs on Coventry in Cleveland Heights talking about Better, my brother John's last posthumously published novel.

In a foreboding mansion that looms above the glittering lights of Los Angeles, a suave and wealthy host named Double Felix, a hooker named Zipper and narrator William weave their story amid plenty of booze, other housemates, and casual sex. But the story between the lines is all John's.

It only took me 15 years to figure that out, people.

It is absolutely stunning to me that the longer John is gone, the more I continue to learn about him. Better is an odd book, but it's rapidly becoming one of the most important pieces of John's work for me.

So come out to Coventry this Saturday. It's not only the perfect spot to spend a summer evening in Cleveland, you'll also get the inside story on one of this town's most legendary voices.

Before the flame out

In lieu of original content by Yours Truly today, here's an exhaustive article on Alaska's NonGovernor Sarah Palin by Todd Purdum for Vanity Fair. It's a fascinating read all about poor little Sarah's problems notable for many reasons, but in no small part because it was published just before her spectacular flame out.

The great Republican Governor. Yeah, yeah. She couldn't even tough out one term. Christ awmighty, people, I told you she was a silly little broad from the get go.

Warhol's Blow Job

Not the original, which was longer and ran at a different frame rate, but evocative and arousing nonetheless. I don't know if a soundtrack accompanied Warhol's original footage, but I preferred to mute the music on this vid anyway.

I wonder if "Blow Job" was part of the impetus for Beautiful Agony.

A good 4th to all

The best thing about today is that the Statue of Liberty has reopened. Yay!

Clickit

The funniest online photo gallery I've seen in a long time.

Phone cam round-up

Prelude to consensual shadow sex with telephone pole.


Shoes for sale, one dollar. No thanks but can I have some water?


Aw, you aren't really gonna sell Gram's needlepoint cats, are ya?


RIP Mr. FrogToad.


Used all the Aseptic Creamers. Throw out the box and bring another up from the basement. Good thing we no gotta refrigerate these mothers.


Sushi for lunch. Yay!


Visual representation of Gift Bag Rejection Syndrome.


Nobody's Inn Cahoots at 7 a.m.


Buffalo soldier.


Somebody lost eight hearts boo hoo.

Doing unto others

Christian Faith Financial is a "payday loans & cash advance" site that helps you "the Christian way."

"Helping families with Christian financial assistance," says the site. They mean it too. "Elijah" is standing by in a very persistent pop-up box when you try to close the window. Call it a blessed cyberfoot in the door.

Maybe the money you get from these guys glows. Maybe "IN GOD WE TRUST" is in a bolder font on dollars that come from Christian Faith Financial than on regular non-God dollars. Who knows? The good thing about being endorsed by an entity such as God is that he doesn't make a lot of direct comment on said endorsement.

There's even a snappy biblical reference to assure you you're in hallowed territory, "Be not overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good--Romans 12:21"

This development has put a new spin on what was heretofore one of my favorite terms: Holy shit.

Lunch in the middle of America

I had some deli roast beef that I had to use up. It was too shitty for regular sandwiches, so I made a packet of "brown gravy," toasted some bread and served up "open-faced roast beef sandwiches" for lunch.

They were exactly like what you get in one of those sleepy little diners in Ohio towns like Fostoria or Tiffin or Bucyrus.

You either know what I'm talking about or you don't.


You would think the goat would protest such a meal.


But he did not. My kid did not. We just sucked it up and ate the shitty sandwiches.


This is the middle of America, people.